Why do I make art?

When I started this blog I knew I did not want it to be a lifestyle blog. I also didn't want it to be a personal journal or just another activity to keep myself from feeling fretful. I needed this space to talk about my art projects and to motivate myself to keep them happening.  

But, let's face it. It's hard. This blog is a project in itself, and I sometimes crave a job that would not chain me to this loneliness. Making art is a lonely job. Period.

I didn't come here to talk about what makes me sad, though. My friends know that once I let a mixed feeling pop into a conversation, it can contaminate my mood, and I don't want to do that. I've been dragging a big haul of various mental illnesses for over 15 years. This is the time of my life when I want that to be over. I just decided to reset my body and mind.

I am Anhelo today because of all the good and bad things that have happened to me; like any other human being. I am not ashamed of having a mental condition. I could pretty much say I am lucky to have seen life from a different angle. Yes. It's a blessing.

Some of you know that I am hypersensitive. The Oxford English Dictionary defines it as: excessively sensitive, either emotionally or in physical response. If you search for a synonymous it will give you "neurotic". Because of it, I live in a natural high, so imagine that I have a tendency to overwhelm myself often. I struggle with this every single second of my existence. 

Why am I saying this?

I am appreciative for all the compliments people make about my work, or simply my passion for each one of the disciplines I get involved in. People around me want to know how I manage all this. The truth is I never know if I do, I just try. I live with a recurrent and sometimes annoying impulse of jumping into vertigo and get far outside of my comfort zone. But like any other perfectionist, I'm too hard on myself. I hate to standstill, because if I stop for a second I might miss something else. I am terribly curious. I want to know it all. So I don't know if I really manage to do all this, or if all this is managing me. 

Either way, this is why I make art. I dwell on the revolting facts of life as much as I dwell on the delights of it. I can't stop wanting to do cool stuff. That's how I fight my demons. I must share it with the world simply because the difference between an artist and a mad person is the audience. So I am searching for one of those in order to change my category.